August 2011
31 posts
“A little up tight? You couldn’t drag a needle outta her butt with a...”
– Roseanne Season 3 Episode 21 “Troubles With The Rubbles”
An Inside Job?
I just watched a National Geographic Channel special called “9/11: Science and Conspiracy”. It was VERY eye-opening. I knew the truthers were complete morons, I just didn’t realize how unbelievably idiotic, crazy and in some ways, down right cruel they are.
To insinuate that thousands upon thousands of people (cuz it would take that many) not only KNEW that WTC and the Pentagon...
“Well, ya know, I think reading maps is more of a guy thing cuz only guys can...”
– “Roseanne” Season 2 Episode 11 “Lobo Cop”
“You look too pretty to be useful”
– Bloodlines Chapter 27
“You know, you can be scary as hell sometimes.”
– Bloodlines Chapter 23
“Being charming IS my hobby”
– Adrian Ivashkov “Bloodlines” chapter 16
Epic Autocorrect
Parental Warning: Foul language used here: My phone allows me to talk-to-text. I keep a very detailed journal of sil medicinal products I take in an app on my phone. The button for talk-to-text is right next to the period and right below m so I hit it accidentally all the time. I usually just cancel it and continue my manual entry. Just now I was making an entry and was trying to type...
“I started to question if Adrian was even awake this early but then remembered he...”
– “Bloodlines” Chapter 14
“Don’t get pissed, Rick. I’d sell Chumlee if I got the chance.
(He...”
– The Old Man “Pawn Stars” episode “Off The Wall”
Customer: “Can you help me find a movie? Your system confuses me.”
Me: “The alphabet?”
Customer: “Yeah.”
Shared from notalwaysright.com.
“I love how they sit there like choir boys. You know one of them is leaving New...”
– Roger Sterling, “Mad Men” Season 4 Episode 1
Not Always Right post #4
(I’m ringing up a mother and her daughter, about 8 years old, at the register. My computer is messing up, so sometimes when I scan an item, it comes up as a different item with the wrong price.)
Me: “I’m sorry about this. My computer seems to be acting up.”
Girl: “Maybe it’s broken!”
Me: “Yeah, that’s probably true.”
Girl: excitedly “Or…maybe zombies got it!”
Me: plays along “Oh yeah,...
Not Always Right- post #3
(I work in a sandwich shop where you can purchase a foot-long or six-inch sandwich. Two women walk into my shop.)
Me: “Hi, how can I help you today?”
Woman #1: “We want half a sandwich, each.”
Me: “Okay, I can help you with that today. What kind of bread would you like?”
Woman #2: “Wheat, but we only want half of it, each.”
Me: “That’s no problem. Six-inch sandwiches are very common....
Not Always Right- post 2
(A customer with a thick Southern-US accent comes in, starts looking at me and frowns.)
Customer: “Hey, you.”
Me: “Hello, madam. How may I help you?”
Customer: “Do you understand me?”
Me: “Why, yes, I do.”
Customer: sighs “But my friend told me all you stupid hicks up here speak Spanish!”
Me: “Well, that’s a bit odd. We aren’t located anywhere near Mexico, Spain or anywhere in...
Not Always Right- post #1
(I work at a gas station with a carwash. A customer comes in and pushes his way to the front of the line. He is holding a shirt that is dripping wet.)
Customer: “Your car wash sucks!”
Me: “Sorry to hear that. What seems to be the problem?”
Customer: “I just bought a car wash and it didn’t clean anything! There is still a giant stain on it.”
Me: “There is a giant stain on your car, sir?”
...
The Color Blue
“How do you know if what you see as the color blue is the same as what I see as the color blue?”
I can’t swear that I got the quote exactly right, it’s from “Mad Men” Season 3, Episode 10 called “The Color Blue”. It was supposedly a question an 8 year old posed to his teacher, but it’s simple, child-like innocence has me captivated. Children...
“That’s life. One moment you’re on top of the world, the next minute...”
– Joan “Mad Men” Season 3 Episode 6
What am I most grateful for?
It’s been a few weeks since I posted something that I wrote on the Facebook page for a local news channel. Tonight they asked “At the end of the day I’m most grateful for ________”
Here is my response:
My mother who has cared for me all the 30 years of my life. Sacrificing, worrying, waiting, loving, supporting. She never complains, and she never will. My father, who is...
“Cordelia: Does looking at guns make you wanna have sex?
Xander: I’m 17....”
– Buffy The Vampire Slayer, Season 2 Episode 14 “Innocence”
“Uhhh, Angel? If I tell you something you really don’t wanna hear, do you...”
– Willow, “Buffy The Vampire Slayer” Season 2 Episode 7 “Lie To Me”
“He’s a vampire? But the cuddly kind. Like a Care Bear with fangs?”
– Buffy The Vampire Slayer. Season 2 Episode 6 “Halloween”
“People underestimate the value of a good ramble”
– Buffy The Vampire Slayer Season 2 Episode 5 “Reptile Boy”
Puppy Love
This one’s pretty simple. Our ABC affiliate asked how your pet improves your life, so I gushed about Belle…again…
I can’t even begin to list the ways my baby girl makes my world a better place. She’s the most loving and understanding dog I’ve ever had. She makes me smile a hundred times a day and fills my heart with joy just thinking about her. If I’m...
“Giles: Her heart was removed.
Willow: Yikes!
Buffy: Does that mean anything...”
– Buffy The Vampire Slayer. Season 1 Episode 9 “The Puppet Show”
Reblog if you can take off your bra without taking...
An essential skill learned in 6th grade.
Grammar lesson:
They’re = They fucking are.
Their = Shows fucking possession.
There = Specifies a fucking location.
You’re = You fucking are.
Your = Shows fucking possession.
We’re = We fucking are.
Were = Past fucking tense of “are”.
Where = Specifies a fucking location.
Than = A fucking comparison.
Then = A point in fucking time.
Fantastic!
The awkward moment when you realise that if you...
Way too much truth to this one…
